Talking about writing isn’t writing. I know a thousand people who talk about writing, have talked about writing for years and yet, they have no completed projects. They work on the first fifty pages of a story they’ve been writing for five years but have yet to finish a single book. They go to conferences and sometimes even get themselves a request for a full from an editor. But they don’t have a full because they talk about writing instead of actually writing.
Yes, this sounds harsh. I’m not trying to kill anyone’s dream. But writing is a job. A job. If you want it to be a hobby (and there’s not a damned thing wrong with that either, not everyone wants to be a professional author) then it doesn’t matter. But if you want to be a writer you have to actually write. You have to put it first when it’s supposed to be first. Whining to me or to your friends about how such and such has it so much easier because they don’t have a day job or whatever is worse than useless, it’s negative. You will never have any schedule but your own. Period. It doesn’t matter that author x has all day to write in a swanky office with assistants and snacks delivered every two hours. You’re not author x and you’re never going to be an author of any kind unless you stop making excuses and finish the damned book.Sit. Your. Ass. Down. Write. There’s the secret.” —Lauren Dane (via rkb) (via diana-vilibert)
After the first day of a world brewing convention, the CEO’s of various brewing organisations retire to the bar.
Bruce, the CEO of Fosters, shouts to the barman: “In ‘Straiyla, we make the best beer in the world, so pour me a Fosters mate.
Bob, CEO of Budweiser calls out next: “In the States we brew the finest beer known to mankind and i make the king of them all. Gimme a Bud”.
Hans steps up next: “In Germany we invented das beer. Give me ein Becks, der real King of beers.”
Paddy, CEO of Guinness steps forward: “Barman give me a diet coke with ice and lemon please.”
The others stare at him in stunned silence, amazement written over their faces. Eventually Bruce asks: “Are you not going to have a Guinness Pat?”
To which Paddy replies “Well, if you pussies aren’t drinking, then neither am I”.
Reasons why I denied your Facebook friend request
- Despite your claims, I don’t remember you from my past
- I should remember you
- Even after checking with other people I still keep in touch with who I knew at that time, I don’t remember you
- The aforementioned people don’t remember you either
I’m sure your story checks out and I’m sure this isn’t some creepy plot to become my friend and sell me Acai Berry juice or a time share in Palm Springs. Sorry.
Real reason why I denied your Facebook friend request
- Your spelling and grammar are atrocious.